Jung von Matt: JvM Recruiting

Fuck!
Terry Richardson, who knows me from a shoot in L.A., is in town and wants to see me to snort some coke, but I have to work. Already the fourth pitch this week. I’m sitting in my light-flooded loft office high above the rooftops of the city and have desperate art directors showing me their layouts. They’re gold, but I want the Grand Prix. I’ve shot through the ranks this year and get a little dizzy when looking down at my colleagues. My smile is so disarming that I won the Nike account on my own with an empty board. A phone call disrupts the train of thought I was just having. I listen to the whispery singsong of some CMO weeping for joy with one ear while I talk to NASA and the White House on the other line. Thanks to my negotiation savvy, I manage to get the branded rocket shot off to the moon before The One Show submission deadline. Casually, I doodle the new Mercedes logo and use a napkin to scribble down some snappy dialogue that I’ll email to Woody Allen later. (He can use it free of charge, just like last time. Say hi to Scarlett, is she still mad at me?)
The phone again. The new intern is here for her interview. This time, I ordered HR to get me a bisexual redhead, heavy on the tattoos. I get rid of my copywriter with some lame excuse (take the new Cannes Lions down to the cellar, put them right next to the others) and slip into my comfy robe.
Half an hour later, I disentangle myself from her clasp. Totally exhausted and still trembling with excitement, she sinks into my all-white designer sofa. On my way down to the underground car park I whip out my platinum iPhone, tweet a few thoughts on how to use Facebook to drive brand loyalty (retweet by Mark Zuckerberg 12 seconds later) and leap into my AMG Gullwing coated in Pantone 871 (a little somethin’ from a Russian oligarch for designing his “business” cards). Got to head off to the minigolf course now to meet Jean-Remy and discuss that opening on the board of management. (I let him win again, otherwise he makes a fuss.) The bells are ringing midnight by the time I come home to my 300 square meter apartment, lounging in my leather wingchair made of whale foreskin. Whew, what a completely ordinary day at Jung von Matt. You’ve got to look and feel fresh for Rihanna’s backstage party, I remind myself, so I start typing Terry’s number into my Blackberry.
Apply at jvm.com.
JvM is looking for creatives. Really, really creative creatives.
(Or tattooed bisexual redheaded interns.)

Advertising Agency: Jung von Matt/Neckar, Stuttgart, Germany
Creative Directors: Holger Oehrlich, Philipp Barth
Art Director: Holger Oehrlich
Copywriters: Holger Oehrlich, Jens Frank, Volker Stolz, Philip Wienberg
Published: September 2010

34 comments

Guest's picture
Guest

join jvm we do cocaine and other "cool" stuff

Guest's picture
Guest

come on guys, you're better than this. jvm has a heritage of great creative work. this ad does not represent that.
it's self-indulgent. it's old school and it doesn't do you proud.

Guest's picture
Guest

not exactly sure how i feel about it, but i think i'm leaning towards a yes.

Guest's picture
Guest

It made me smile. But would I want to work there? Not so much.

Billoughsby's picture
Billoughsby
5091 pencils

Why so stingy with the copy? We were hoping for a novel. Several in fact. C'mon guys, We want to spend more glorious hours reading your advertising.

"Ubi hubave lubearned thubat ubanuby fubool cuban wrubite uba bubad ubad, bubut thubat ubit tubakes uba rubeal gubenubiubus tubo kubeep hubis hubands uboff uba gubood ubone."
-Lubeo Buburnubett

atb2005's picture
atb2005
13567 pencils

Fuck! My eyes are hurting, partly from reading this tediously long copy and partly (or should I say mostly) from staring at the layout. What's with all that green?!?? The only thing I liked was the "tattooed bisexual" line. Kinda funny.

Blashyrkh's picture
Blashyrkh
32701 pencils

Fuck! Something is wrong there.

vasskliss's picture
vasskliss
36 pencils

First think about the ad, then snort the coke. If you do it the other way around, you end up with ads like this one.

Guest's picture
Guest

Fuck! its a copy from the 90th. The book "99 francs" are definitly better.

Guest's picture
Guest

hey Billoughsby, remember you have no idea i think what good copy is.

thanks

Guest's picture
Guest

fuck!
i just can't believe that you guys don't get it.

Guest's picture
Guest

Jeez, this is so low brow and self-indulgent (even if deliberately so). I'm going to pretend that I didn't see this and still attempt to maintain some semblance of respect for this agency.

Guest's picture
Guest

Everything wrong with the industry in one ad. Brilliant.

Guest's picture
Guest

"really really creative creatives".... so i think he has completely invented a "nineties-life", which doesn't exist in that agency. that could be the only sense.

Guest's picture
Guest

my ninja got armor. your copywriter got bad copy. and bad is a compliment.

Billoughsby's picture
Billoughsby
5091 pencils

It's all fumes. -- No poop just gas.

"Ubi hubave lubearned thubat ubanuby fubool cuban wrubite uba bubad ubad, bubut thubat ubit tubakes uba rubeal gubenubiubus tubo kubeep hubis hubands uboff uba gubood ubone."
-Lubeo Buburnubett

Guest's picture
Guest

What? I mean why is the copy so self obsessive? I feel it is an exaggerated attempt to write an extraordinarily creative copy. I really feel it is a work of mere SHOW-OFF! And trust me i have a sense of humor and a good taste for creativity!

jackblack's picture
jackblack
2261 pencils

Hmmmm... no.

AmOgodzzz's picture
AmOgodzzz
826 pencils

Fuck!
We're so desperate to look relevant and cool and creative that we decided to make a recruitment ad in the voice of Bret Easton Ellis. It is so disingenuous and easy to see through but, come on, we really need to hire a couple of junior creatives. And, I mean, one of us heard from his 13-year-old son that if you pretend you do coke and imply that you've banged Scarlett Johansen that maybe they won't think you're such a douche nozzle. You think the whole conference call with NASA and the President is too much? Nah, fuck it, we're keeping that part too.

And just for good measure, let's throw in a couple of sweet-ass brand names to really get their attention. You know, Mercedes, Nike, that kinda shit. Fuck yeah.

I just got an awesome idea. I'll mention something about a tattooed, redheaded bisexual intern. I read a bunch of Bret Easton Ellis and it seems like that's what all these art school dudes are into. Oh, and then I'll mention - in a classy, subtle way of course - that I fucked her. You know, she comes in for an interview and I fuck her in my office. Wouldn't that make me sound like a Big Swingin' Dick? A Master of the Universe? Sure, its pretty disgusting for a balding, overweight forty-six year old man to talk about using his position and power to take advantage of a college student his daughter's age, but come on. This is ADVERTISING. Haven't you ever seen Mad Men?

I don't know, my wife will probably be pissed off about that line. Fuck it, I'll leave it in. We wanna sound cool and badass and relevant, remember? She knows I'd never cheat on her.

Wait, what? There's a junior creative writing a parody of what my internal monologue must have sounded like when I was coming up with this desperate, self-conscious attempt at a recruitment ad for my agency? Well, what did he write? What? Motherfucker! Who does he think he is? I'm king of the creative world, dammit! Tell him to get back to work or he's fired! What, he doesn't work here? He'd never work here? He said that? Fuck him.

Shit! I gotta pick up my kid from soccer practice. Goddammit! Let's finish this shit up tomorrow. I think it's gonna be fuckin' badass. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Guest's picture
Guest

AmOgodzzz: thanks for sharing Your thoughts.. Really loved it!

Billoughsby's picture
Billoughsby
5091 pencils

They should switch out their copy for this. Ten of ten.

"Ubi hubave lubearned thubat ubanuby fubool cuban wrubite uba bubad ubad, bubut thubat ubit tubakes uba rubeal gubenubiubus tubo kubeep hubis hubands uboff uba gubood ubone."
-Lubeo Buburnubett

Guest's picture
Guest

Half Cannes Lion for you, and the other half to the ad.

Now stop arguing and go play outside you two.

shahidali's picture
shahidali
4071 pencils

horrible is an understatement!

shahid

sirvan's picture
sirvan
29870 pencils

Really wouldn't want clients to see this. Might lose some accounts.

+++

"I love some things, and don't love some other things."

Anonymous Author's picture
Anonymous Author
1541 pencils

Pass. As in no thanks (not 'achieved').

Write a wise saying and your name will live forever – Anonymous.

http://www.anonymousauthor.co.nz
www.twitter.com/@anonauth

Guest's picture
Guest

or fuckwits desperate to live a fake life in hollywood-inspired false simulacra

Guest's picture
Guest

I like it. If I was a hopeful rookie, I'd want to work at that agency.

dsklan's picture
dsklan
1927 pencils

jvm is just about hard work and no play... fuck this agency, they´re exhausting creative people

Guest's picture
Guest

so very true! needed to be said!

Guest's picture
Guest

nice fantasy guys

Guest's picture
Guest

I thought all of the "really, really creative creatives" are at BBDO.

Guest's picture
Guest

Sorry, but this is just pathetic... The worst JvM af that I have seen in 10 years ...

KbxAdz's picture
KbxAdz
934 pencils

this ad might sound good to a person who hasn't seen the inside of a big ad agency (or even a small one). But when you have seen the way some assholes in agencies behave, you would only get angry by this ad. It is endorsing that behaviour of assholes who play the dirtiest slimebag dog-poop office politics. Why can't somebody be a gentleman and gentlelady and still get great ideas and still...oh fuck it, advertising agencies suck. This behaviour filters down into people from top to bottom, and we all know what kind of people (race) are at the top (owners, shareholders) of the media and advertising industry. Screw them and screw the person who thought this ad was cool.

You Are What You Expect

4thtennenbaum's picture
4thtennenbaum
5 pencils

Pathetic or not, I'd read every word

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