pk chewing gum for Kenya. please critique

please critique

pk chewing gum for Kenya. please critique
pk chewing gum for Kenya. please critique

16 comments

Clief Kole's picture
Clief Kole
126 pencils

pls note,art direction wise... these are roughs executions yet to be finalized.

Righteousone's picture
Righteousone
779 pencils

there is no link between copy and visual?? or am I missing something?

Clief Kole's picture
Clief Kole
126 pencils

i shouldnt be leading you but....i guess the copy is based on lack of confidence.

jamesandjoe's picture
jamesandjoe
9 pencils

Needs to have a stronger link, "fresh moments" doesn't say confidence to me.

Dave Che Guevarra's picture
Dave Che Guevarra
2 pencils

the copy seems divorced fromt the visual. I am losing a link somewhere in the middle. If PK is about confidence, why do james ahve to try be James Bond? Can't he be, Opiyo, Kamau, whatever?

stsanto's picture
stsanto
672 pencils

james bond is carrying flowers! :)
yup, it's all about copy here. Your visual is trying hard to lead to your idea, but somehow the copy makes it harder to reach there. Spend some time for the copy, ponder about it, play with words, check thesaurus for confidence :)

yeast's picture
yeast
168 pencils

Are you saying after taking the gums will boost your confidence?

Wordnerd's picture
Wordnerd
6662 pencils

doesn't make sense for me. those are no 'fresh' moments.

Clief Kole's picture
Clief Kole
126 pencils

yes its all about confidence.

alvinpck's picture
alvinpck
1467 pencils

I think this idea work better in radio than on print.

...
http://alvinpck.deviantart.com/gallery/

Davosk's picture
Davosk
4833 pencils

Awful.

Clief Kole's picture
Clief Kole
126 pencils

yap I guess it's a hard sell concept. it's time to trash it.

Guest's picture
Guest

funny thing to point out...fresh breath fresh moments seems like the line for close up toothpaste in Kenya...is there a serious shortage of talent that brands have started to share tagline? just a question

Guest's picture
Guest

Art direction aside, your copy is not engaging or exciting at all. It's difficult to read with the stutter. If your idea is to show how you wont have the confidence to speak, what other ways can you show this without a stupid stutter in print? Maybe they cant speak at all, back to the drawing board.

Guest's picture
Guest

Are you the only one that works in that agency? why is it that you need the world to critic your work? If you had actually sat and brainstormed your idea with a team, gotten feedback and improved on your ideas, maybe just maybe it wouldn't have been so crappy to begin with and you wouldn't have given me a bloody headache trying to figure out how you actually got to senior art director and your ad looks so school student type

What's with the mirrors? how are they relevant to your concept? what are the people smiling if they lack confidence?

Guest's picture
Guest

I think you have 2 ideas going in the same execution which makes it too complicated. The idea needs to simple for people to get. Remeber they only have 2-3 seconds to get it. The copy does not work. I can think if simple ways to take this further thorugh art direction alone. The trick with this is focus on your art direction being much tighter and simpler. Too much going on at the moment and choose one route. The Juxtaposition alone can work. Loose the confidence idea. you'll get nowhere with executing that.

Post new comment

Thank you for commenting. Please do not spam, be elaborate, respectful and helpful.
Log in or register to post comments