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FedEx Express (Class Assignment)
Submitted by dansheppy52 on Tue, 2008-03-11 22:34.
Again. I realize that FedEx is done quite a bit in student portfolios. The USP is that it is fast, but the teacher wanted us to communicate that it also saves your job.
I wanted to try my hand at a copy driven ad. Let me know your opinions of the lines and the art direction. Also if the concept makes sense and if I communicated the benefit well (FedEx saves your job)
Thanks!
Comments
the second one is a funny one, other two don't work for me.
the third has a potential (brought the kangaroo is ok, but afterwards something different)
OK. Thanks. Does the message of being fast and saving your job come across?
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"There is no entitlement to the consumer's attention. It is earned."
-Luke Sullivan
www.dbsheppard.com
for the second one, yeah, cause you're specific (you can work on that from now on), meaning you get the exact thing + in a pretty unpleasant situation, where you need this fast.
The copy is interesting though. But if what you want to say is saving job, it's barely visible, coz: the second one the vase is not a common vase (dancing monkey) like if you couldn't find it Fedex also cant save your job. Pants one is quite good. The kangoroo is a bit wacky, I thought it is quite good but I don't know - I don't feel it is quite right yet, maybe 300 bags is too much for a baby kangoroo? or maybe broom is available at the office, or maybe it wont really save your job unless Fedex also provide express cleaning service.
But nice copy man.
Yeah, I get what you're saying. The way I saw it was that this is a person calling someone at home to send it in...not that the person is saying it to fedex. Maybe this is not coming across but it is important to the concept. Now that I think about that, I really didn't make it seem that way. It seems as though the person is talking to Fedex.
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"There is no entitlement to the consumer's attention. It is earned."
-Luke Sullivan
www.dbsheppard.com
I don't like the kangaroo one, it sounds too far fetched and random, I like the other 2 though, 1st one is the best.
AD wise, it's a bit scrappy. If you wanted a really simple way of visualising them so as not to take anything away from the lines, i'd just put a fed ex package of a different size/shape in each one and have it nicely shot and let your line be the focus. Or perhaps the item next to the box.
And do it on white, the purple is too much, sickly almost. And definitely lose the line round the outside.
A
http://ajstone1981.blogspot.com/
Awesome, thanks for the AD tips. I'm not much of one but I am learning. Still trying to figure out where I fit in in the creative biz.
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"There is no entitlement to the consumer's attention. It is earned."
-Luke Sullivan
www.dbsheppard.com
Your welcome.
I don't think you need to figure out your place, i think you're already there with your TV stuff. I like a lot of your ads which is saying something as American tv stuff isn't really as on brand over here as it is in the US.
You're ideas are the key thing to concentrate on, designing, editing, filming is just craft work, you can get better at any of them if you're given the time it's the ideas that count most, without them it's just a pretty picture or a nicely shot commercial etc.
Keep it up :)
http://ajstone1981.blogspot.com/
right on, mate!
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"There is no entitlement to the consumer's attention. It is earned."
-Luke Sullivan
www.dbsheppard.com
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