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Tried to put it as a visual. But I couldn't make it. So I started writing.
if you couldn't make it,... then don't make it. Writing like this is not solution. I don't understand what you are trying to get here, a credit for the idea? That one also fails.
Who would want to read copy that long when it isn't dramatic or compelling enough?
A simple visual would have done the trick.
Long copy ads are difficult to do. You need to be able to maintain the interest from start to finish. You also need to reward the reader at the end. Neither is done here. Typography doesn't help either. The block of copy is not inviting to read. Sorry, don't give up! This is how you learn! Cheers!
Ivan Raszl, admin of AotW
Thanks Ivan, Your words are like tonic.
Will try to post a no copy ad for this ad and will make it conveying the thought.