Ad for a local tea shop in India

Classic corner is very famous for its tea in chennai. This is the place where i use to go for a tea.

So i thought of making an ad with this concept.

It is my first step to become a copywritter.....

So what you think.

Is it a Crap?

Ad for a local tea shop in India

24 comments

ivan's picture
ivan

First of all NEVER write this: "more than just..." Every freakin company in the world says that. Second, the whole writing is forced. You need to write in a way that makes the reader involved. What you're saying is all romantic BS. Sorry! :)

Ivan Raszl, admin of AotW

shijuchitra's picture
shijuchitra
176 pencils

thank you for your vaid comment............. no need to say sorry yaar

shijuchitra's picture
shijuchitra
176 pencils

thank you for your vaid comment............. no need to say sorry yaar

iswanda82's picture
iswanda82
346 pencils

2 years ago there's a student want to work with adrian miller at saatchi malaysia, he send a layout of copy ad, very simple, very non art directed like this one, it even looked like advertorial... but the story is so interesting, it tells you the process how he can get a dog in a moslem campus.... the takeout : if i can persuade the whole moslem community in my campus for having a dog, i think i can persuade anybody... end of story : he get the job and working alongside adrian miller......... very realistic, smooth exxagaration...... please remove the l"more than a....." is been done to death

sorry for the harsh comment
but if this your first, then it is very good..!

Guest's picture
Guest

@ iswanda

thanks for the comment....it is really helpful.

SHIJU

iswanda82's picture
iswanda82
346 pencils

You're welcome, sorry for the bad english thou

angieraj's picture
angieraj
428 pencils

I think its a good attempt but honestly, you need to work on your grammar. If you want to communicate something, the base of the language has to be strong. The copy seems incomplete almost like its a puzzle which is I am guessing is not the approach you were going for.
I absolutely love the idea of you trying to do something for a small tea shop like this one, but in advertising the message is more important than the good will. Atleast thats what I have experienced. Ofcourse there are ads for Social responsibility and prevention etc but they have to be exectued just as brilliantly to win the audience over.
Good luck to you!

Cognito Ergo Sum

sonucoues2002's picture
sonucoues2002
804 pencils

becus its for a local shop so nobody will read it.you have to make a ad with less or no txt with big picture

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

Classic Corner - boy, do our teas have stories. (provided they come from an interesting place and are prepared in a specialized way)

Martijn's picture
Martijn
1900 pencils

Don't tell that every tea has a story, just tell the story...

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

I've got it !

Our teas come from the streets man, g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-unnnnnit!

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

or,

Here tea is sex in your cup.

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

Tea-sing you with wonderful scents and tastes.

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

watch Glee, drink tea.

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

lots of tea, make man go for pee

aytida's picture
aytida
202 pencils

@zercool: LOL. You should start that with "Confooshus say...."

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

Bruce Lee drank our tea

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

I'd rather get stung by a bee, then drink this disgusting tea.

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

Tea makes u faster, stronger, and sexier, FOR A LIMITED TIME GET $1 off when you call 1800 BUY OURT.

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

I'm having way too much fun with this

CurryJ's picture
CurryJ
955 pencils

Yes, you are...

================================================
I think; therefore I am

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

shut up CurryJ, you're straight up garbage.

aytida's picture
aytida
202 pencils

No. No. Just No.

1st para: "From the one who picks the leaves...." Even the tea I buy has a person picking the leaves. In fact, tea..... wherever it is in the world, the process starts with picking the leaves. So the story of 'picking the leaves' can be told anywhere and everywhere. Not really a special feeling for me.

And "From the one who picks the leaves to (the) milkman."????? Pray, do let me know what intermediaries have you thought of in between?

2nd para: So in your tea stall every tea tells the story of a "tea master". Let me see... hmm... first you place importance on the story from the 'leaf-picker' to the 'milkman'. Then abruptly you discredit (indirectly or unknowingly) their efforts by shifting the importance to your 'tea-master'.

3rd para: seems redundant to me. Doesn't tea-master mean someone who's good at making tea? doesn't that make him a tea 'artist' so to speak? so why the differentiation "everybody calls him tea-master BUT we treat him as an artist..." And who is "we" here? let me guess, WE is the patrons who frequent the tea stall? If one doesn't go there frequently, one wudnt know the 'special'ness of the tea and one wudnt call him a 'tea-master' any which ways.

Also, Masterpiece? A masterpiece is generally something which cannot be duplicated. The original is generally a masterpiece. The replicated copy is simply the copy of the original. Sistine Chapel was a Michelangelo masterpiece. La Gioconda or the Mona Lisa as you know it was a Da Vinci masterpiece. Any replicas are simply replicas.

When you say "Literally he is making [a] Masterpiece here.", do you mean to say every time he makes tea, it is different than the previous batch? in that case I might visit the tea stall, but won't patronize it.

[You have a Lot of Capitalization for Different words in Your sentences. please Take A note.]

Also, "Come here" is barely visible. In the address is there a typo I see? T.nagr? shudn't it be T.Nagar or ever more correct the full name of T.Nagar?

LAST LINE IN RED: Here each tea is a Master piece.
What's wrong with this:
- Masterpiece. In the mess of the text above this line in ur ad, Masterpiece is a single word. and here, two different words. please take care.
- Why isn't it this ---> "Here every cup of tea is a Masterpiece"

Phew!..... this critique actually mentally drained me.....

zerocool's picture
zerocool
455 pencils

This ad is the new VW Lemon, ya'll just haters.

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