Toothpaste advert (Hammer & Arm) - Would love feedback.

Hello everyone,

I am new here and looking to get into the advertising industry. I'm really looking to get as much feedback as possible on the work that I will be producing as my goal is to build a solid portfolio over the space of the next 6-12 months so that I can land my first advertisement job.

I simply found a product that I use and made a magazine style advert for it, I look forward to hearing constructive criticism.

This is my second ever advertisement attempt :] (I seriously need to work on my photoshop skills!)

Toothpaste advert (Hammer & Arm) - Would love feedback.

6 comments

adri10288's picture
adri10288
339 pencils

This is way, way off. Why the old naked man? Why? Do you think that man visually embodies the brand? If you're looking to get into the industry you should read some modern books about how to make ads. Or go to school. Advertising is a lot more complex than making visual puns.

Mango_'s picture
Mango_
14 pencils

Fair points - As i said im a newbie just starting out so im expecting to make many HUGE mistakes at the beginning :]. What books would you recommend?

jteslik's picture
jteslik
1391 pencils

Hey Whipple, Squeeze This
How to Put Your Book Together and Get a Job in Advertising
Wizard of Ads (series)
Influence

You should look through some award annuals to get an idea of what good advertising is. If you can only read one book, read the first one. What you really need is a run-through on how to develop a strategy. Your executions should always sell a particular product benefit, style, way of life, or human truth. You should know what your ads are trying to convey before you start producing them.

Anywho, welcome and I look forward to seeing your work. But don't be surprised if your timeline of 6-12 months isn't realistic, especially if you have no advertising background. That said, if you have a background in writing, it could be do-able.

Mango_'s picture
Mango_
14 pencils

thanks jteslik :] will be posting up my updates as I learn, looking for as much feedback as possible!

Shawali's picture
Shawali
8433 pencils

Hey, welcome to the forum, Mango!

While the end result looks really poor, but that's ok, you're only starting, I find the insight to be pretty good. "Germs don't mess around, then why should you?" could give some pretty cool idea.

Dig into the books JTeslik told you about. Especially Hey Whipple, which is a tid bit dated (it was last reissued in 2011, I think) but is still great.

No one cares about child labor, eye donation or saving the Earth: NO PSA!!! http://adsoftheworld.com/forum/135094

jteslik's picture
jteslik
1391 pencils

Glad someone else picked up on this. The ad does really have an idea behind it. I'm not sure if it's THE idea, but it's a start. So if your big idea is "If germs don't mess around, why should you?" then what kinds of executions would convey that idea. Like "When it's 28 million to one, take the side with the bigger guns." IDK, what line is probably shit, but you get what I'm saying. You can take your idea and try to clean it up into a better tagline, too. Try to simplify it into only a couple words. Maybe a "Bring out the big guns" which is kind of a play on words (get it, ARM and hammer? ;D) maybe that's totally off base, but I found it funny.

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