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GameFly is basically the Netflix of videogames, for all you non-Americans out there :)
Gamers can't read can they?
jteslik summed it up. Gamers of all people would not read this. You want an attention getting visual not a copy based ad.
You can do copy, it just has to be less than 7 words. Which should actually be your goal when copywriting in general. Get your idea across before I turn the page.
EDIT: You know what? I actually really like the direction that these ads are going in. I think the insight is spot-on, you're just doing it wrong. Get away from the whole punny "Call of Duty" and "Far Cry" stuff, but still treat your target market like what they are: a bunch of older men who don't really get a chance to compete at anything anymore. Let them relive their youth and get some satisfaction out of winning, and say it in a way that's going to speak to them. Then say it faster.
EDIT2: You could also go the "escape from reality" route, more like what you were doing. But keep in mind older people do have responsibilities, so maybe you approach it as an occasional-gamer type of thing. These won't be the people playing 24-7 or professionally. They might only have an hour a day to play, but still want the satisfaction of progressing.
I think there's definitely a nice insight here somewhere
Thanks for the initial feedback. At first I just had headlines that went....
Since when did changing the diapers become your CALL OF DUTY?
Having a NEED FOR SPEED is useless when you drive a mini-van.
The new restaurant down the street is hardly UNCHARTED territory.
GameFly. Get Back in the Game.
I like the direction I had before, but I saw an interesting opportunity to tell stories (through long copy) about who these guys are without their videogames. They become drone-like in a way. The insight I started with was, "when life happens, your controllers get put down."
That's what I've got so far. Some of you are saying I shouldn't do long copy because this audience "doesn't read." To me, that sounds like a cop-out. The target I'm talking to is grown up. A lot of these guys are engineers or young creatives. They aren't stupid people. Ever play The Legend of Zelda? Metal Gear Solid? Yeah, lots of reading.
jteslik - you make a good point. But if you're a creative director and you're looking at a copywriter's book, I don't think you'll mind seeing a long copy piece in there. You might even get excited at the prospect of a copywriter being actually able to write a story. I'm not saying my ad is perfect, but it's a direction I think that would be good for my book – which is why I did it. And if it's art directed better, it might even make the copy more enticing to read.
Generally speaking, the higher-end the product or the more educated your clientele, the more words you can put on a page. I don't think this qualifies for either. I know a lot of engineers who were gamers (and I was one of them), but I knew plenty more average folks who played XBOX and paid $60 for every new release and would probably be the ones you're aiming this campaign at (well, 10 years down the road, anyway). They also don't spend their free time reading the ads in magazines when they'd rather be racing cars around a track or shooting people in the face. I get where you're coming from, but that's just not the market you're after.
I think your approach originally was more of what you should be looking for. I don't like the puns with the game titles, though. You can illustrate your points without mentioning any specific titles, which is probably to the benefit of your campaign later on when titles are changing all the time. NFS and COD are pretty mainstream, but I'd still keep them general. I'm not gonna throw out too many ideas, but here's some crap off the top of my head:
Let's see if two years of diaper-changing has improved your MANUAL DEXTERITY.
Next Christmas, put your nephew in his place.
Remember when you used to let people win?
Think clicking around in spreadsheets for eight hours a day helps you get headshots?
Take what you've learned from pissing off your wife and make people rage-quit.
One hour of owning people fixes eight hours of horse-shit.
Gettin' vulgar now. It's bed time.
as jteslik said - more than 7 words and you're copy must be REALLY interesting - wether its aimed at gamers or not. What you have here takes too long to get the point. The short copy like you said in your reply is much better.