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Maybe you can, but I just wanted to get overall feedback about the idea.
Let your thoughts flow
Not sure if there's an idea here, so I don't know how i can work in a series And I think it would be a better headline if this were the 80s. Rockstars don't really do this anymore. I think you could find a more relevant and stronger insight.
Also, "Think you can do this ad better?" Awkward.
Ok thanks for the feed back. How would you say it then? Can you top this ad?
divert your focus on logistics. Pick a benefit that you want to feature, may be on time thing, as you have mentioned. Check this awesome ad on logistic for your reference http://adsoftheworld.com/media/print/tpc_group_santa_claus