Airthings Bulls**t Detector

Airthings, creators of the best-selling indoor air quality monitors, today announced a brand-new, first-of-its-kind capability: the Airthings Bulls**t Detector, which will be available on all Airthings devices on April 1st. Using a revolutionary algorithm derived from its CO2, VOC, and Humidity sensors, Airthings devices can now tell you when someone is full of hot air, allowing you to stop the BS before it snowballs out of control.

Think this sounds like BS? Let us explain how it works from a deeply analytical, scientific perspective. When the human body engages in deceit, there’s a unique physiological effect that permeates the air on a microscopic level. When engaged in a lie, your respiratory and heart rates increase, you start sweating and your mouth goes dry - all factors that are detectable with Airthings’ state-of-the-art sensor technology.

Ideal for any home, school, political debate, or daytime talk show (hello, Jerry Springer!), the Airthings Bulls**t Detector is capable of discerning all varieties and strains of BS, ranging from a student’s white lies (“the dog ate my homework!”), to malicious, despicable infidelity (“I swear, she’s just a friend!”). Airthings’ line of business devices, also equipped with the feature, can detect BS in corporate settings as well. This can range from shameless acronym overload (“my amazing CRM idea will increase the ROI of our ROAS by 1000 BIPS!”) to everyone’s favorite whopper, “let me circle back with you after the holidays!” When BS is detected, Airthings’ View Series monitors will immediately provide an audible alert, with sound options including “toilet flush,” “incorrect game show buzzer,” and “sad trombone.” It will also provide a red-light visual indicator and a poop emoji on the product’s eco-friendly, e-ink screen display.

Why introduce this breakthrough capability now? Airthings’ team of leaders and engineers believe that there’s never been a time in history with more BS to wade through than the present, so this feature has the ability to make a massive, tangible impact on customers’ lives.

“Our mission of empowering the world to breathe better has been mercilessly sabotaged by a constant, unending stream of BS,” said Erlend Bolle, CTO of Airthings. “We felt that our expertise at Airthings made us uniquely positioned to help people everywhere by not only detecting the harmful contaminants in our air, but also the hot air that is spewing from your neighbor, partner, or colleagues’ mouths - and that’s how the Bulls**t Detector was born. How do we know it actually works? Well, quite frankly, we’re the experts here, so you should probably just trust us on this one.”

The best part about the Airthings Bulls**t Detector is that it will automatically be synced to any Airthings customer’s device with a quick update of the Airthings App. And one last thing - are you excited to try out the feature yourself? Well, you’ll have to wait until the update goes live tomorrow, on April Fool’s Day!