Its 10 AM, I'm sitting in my office that I redecorated yesterday. I pulled up a second desk so that it forms a big 'L'. They don't seem to get that a creative needs his space. My junk is already cluttering my new 'big' desk, I am happy.
But something feels off. Although my desk is full, I have my ads and folders to produce and I'm working in Ads of the World. I feel empty.
Spring is starting and I can feel this in the air. The sun is waking me up in the morning because I dont have curtains. Ireally hate those things, they are ugly and therefore dont belong in my room. And whenever I have to work late I can smell the evening setting.
But these feelings also bring forth memories, memories of better days. Memories of last year.
I miss it. To be in school, working on an audiovisual assignment, creating a new typeface. And most of all, hanging with the boys. The boys, my friends with whom I spend everyday. Lying in the grass of the schoolyard, drinkng a beer on a warm summersday. Being a senior suddenly grants you priviliges you never expected. The girls look more interested all of a sudden. They know that you are far more better than they are in graphics, you are older hence sexier and you are a senior so they think its cool to hang out with you.
I found this out the bad way. She was interested in me, so was I in her. We hanged out, we kissed, we slept. We were a couple. Until she came back from vacation and all of a sudden she didn't 'feel' it anymore. She said that now I left school she didn't have the chance of seeing me that often.
We broke up, she has broken me.
I walked around with this shadow for half a year. Knowing that she was only interested in me because I was a senior. I was devastated because I gave my life, I put all the effort I could muster in her. But as soon as I was gone, so was her memory of me. We spoke after the incident and I learned that she never tought of me anymore. Moments later I found out she had a new boy. Yes, a senior.
But nevertheless, I miss those times. The lads and me still hang out. Wearing the flip-flops, drinking the beer, putting on the sunglasses and look at the ladies. Because after all, we are the ex-seniors.